How to be a complete and utter Dick

"As I've watched the events of the last few days it is clear once again that President Obama is trying to pretend we are not at war. He seems to think if he has a low-key response to an attempt to blow up an airliner and kill hundreds of people, we won't be at war. He seems to think if he gives terrorists the rights of Americans, lets them lawyer up and reads them their Miranda rights, we won't be at war. He seems to think if we bring the mastermind of Sept. 11 to New York, give him a lawyer and trial in civilian court, we won't be at war. He seems to think if he closes Guantanamo and releases the hard-core Al Qaeda-trained terrorists still there, we won’t be at war, He seems to think if he gets rid of the words, ‘war on terror,’ we won’t be at war. But we are at war and when President Obama pretends we aren’t, it makes us less safe." — Dick Cheney, Politico

As I've watched the events of the last few days it is clear once again that Dick Cheney is trying to pretend that a scary phrase is scarier than an F 16 bomber with its rockets up your tail. He seems to think that if he has a hysterical response to a man who set light to his own underpants, we will think him one tough cookie. He seems to think that if he denies human rights to America's POWs, we won't mind when Americans get decapitated in response. He seems to think that if we bring the mastermind of Sept 11 to New York to receive the full measure of American justice, as Bush promised and failed to do, we will forget to blame him for ignoring the memo entitled "Bin Laden determined to strike inside the U.S." He seems to think if we close Guantanamo and release the innocent men we have tortured, their families will not thank us enough. He seems to think if he uses the words ‘war on terror,’ terrorists will lay down their arms and start baking cookies for us. But we are not at war with terrorism for the same reason that we are not at war with any abstract noun, and when Dick Cheney pretends we are, it makes us less safe.