So glad I don't have to see: NINE

I'm so glad I don't have to see Nine. So grateful nobody can make me. That it can't sneak up on me somehow. That I don't even know anyone who wants to see it who could badger me into it. That Nine and I are on completely separate tracks going in wholly different directions. I wish it well! Go entertain someone else! Someone who appreciates actors who speak-a-like-a-this and hellacious songs-n-dance numbers that nobody can remember and women trussed up like prize turkeys in black garters! Someone who like-a-de Italians, but can't be arsed to watch a foreign movie and doesn't mind the fact that Nicole Kidman's lips are sliding off her face like Mr Potato Head's! Such people do exist! I am not one of them! Be gone! Ciao!