Me: "So are you ready for the beating you're going to recieve at the Emmy's tomorrow?"And so on and so forth, in ever higher spirals of braggadoccio. The chit-chat of mere amateurs, I now recognise, having seen the way Obama and Clinton faced off in the rustbelt primaries — in particular the way they managed expectations, in a constant attempt to cast themselves as the plucky underdog coming from behind. Obama was the underdog for a while, but then he beat Clinton in Iowa. Clinton saw an opportunity to portray herself as the underdog, and won New Hampshire. But she succeeded too much, found herself in the sniper-friendly front-runner position again — drat — and Obama won south Carolina. Etc etc. Having observed these political maestros in action our smack-talk now goes something like this.
My wife: "That is some fighting talk, my friend."
Me: "Not necessarily. Just the talk of someone who knows his strengths with awards shows. Remember the beating you took last year at the Spirit awards?"
My wife: "The Spirit Awards? Indie awards shows are for losers. You always flunk it with the Grand Slams...."
Me: "Don't be sore."
My wife: "The only thing sore is your backside after the hiding you took at the Oscars..."
Me: "Boy are you going to take a beating tomorrow night at the Emmy's."Actually I don't remember that double-switchback maneuvre being used by Clinton last year but she's welcome to it, should she chose to run again.
My wife: "Them's fighting words."
Me: "No, merely the words of someone who won handily last year."
My wife [a glint in her eye]: "Hmmm. You're right. You do do pretty well at the Emmy's."
Me [realising too late the trap I have set for myself']: "Nyah, I got lucky is all."
My wife: "No you're good. You do your homework."
Me: "That's why I'm worried. I haven't done any this year. Remember how bad I am on American television? I just don't know the history. I'm playing an away game."
My wife [a maniacal look stealing over her]: "You know what? You are! Sucker! You're going down so fast you're going to take all the branches off the tree...!!!"