"What can be the silliness of the Golden Globes matched up with the seriousness of the critics on Sunday night as the Social Network took the prize for best drama..." — New York Times
Heedless irony of the evening: E Entertainment's 'Black Swan' make-up tip segment enabling viewers to transform themselves with "that magical black swan ballerina look," thus reversing the entrenched war against death-by-prettification waged by Aronofsky and his movie. More apropos, of course, would have been some Barbara Hershey toe-nail clippers and Portman-patented hangnail strippers, designed to leave each of your limbs a bloody stump whose rorschach spatter patterns symbolise the rape of innocence by the Greek god Zeus. Even Portman herself seemed to have defied her director's purdah-like edicts on the color pink and slipped into a diaphanous pink Dior gown. We can only pray that her punishment will be swift.Weirdest speech: Robert De Niro. He doesn't say anything for 40 years, doesn't crack a smile let alone a joke, and when he does finally open his mouth he launches into a rusty old Rupert Pupkin monologue stocked with leering, year-late references to Megan Fox's hotness? The promo reel looked suitably mythic; the speech lanced the myth.Worst Speech: David Fincher. Some teenage breast-beating about how"misanthropic" and "pitch-black" he usually is, together with some unconvincing snarls about how little public approbation means to him. Stay home, then.Most revealing cutaway: The look on the faces on Fincher's actors to see their captain ("Oh captain my captain") stammer and blush, debutantishly, at the podium as he told everyone how little they meant to him. It was rather like the look on Dorothy's face when the curtain is drawn back by Toto to reveal Oz as a huffing, puffing, tinpot imposter.Worst Hair: a close contest between Annette Bening, who looked as if she had recently stuck her fingers into an electrical socket and Al Pacino who should be congratulated for the safe haven he offers passing families of nestless rodents.Favorite thank-you: Bening thanking "the winner of the 1962 Golden globe for best newcomer of the year," aka Warren Beatty.Classiest speech: Aaron Sorkin, for his courtesy to Mark Zuckerberg, his boosterism for elites and smart women.Worst news for Ricky Gervais: even Hanks went after him.